Love hurts version A
by Elebridith
Summary: Lit. The first story in the Love Hurts-series. It deals Rory's feelings about Jess and contains A family matter and Nag Hammadi storylines. One parter - completed.


**A/N** well, as many people I was very unsatisfied with the ending of 'Nag hammadi...' so I decided to write my own version. But as it turned out i had many ideas for this storyline, so I made a series out of it. As it is looking now there will be 3 parts in the Love hurts-series. I hope you enjoy reading this! Please read and review.

**'Letters from the past' **I will finish this story but not at this moment because I have to write a thesis help! Anyway - be patient please.

ow yeah, this is a one-parter!

**Love hurts – part 1**

Love hurts they say. They're right. It hurts especially when the love of your life is gone. You feel like everything was fake, like everything he ever said, did or showed weren't real… you forget his smell, his voice, his hug, his kisses… but you never forget the pain. The pain that was there when it became clear he wasn't coming back. The stinging in the heart when you don't receive a letter, a card, an e-mail or a phone call…

Time heals all wounds they say. They're wrong. I never stopped loving him, caring about him, thinking about him, dreaming about him… that I can't reach to him, that I can't get through, thát's the part you get used to.

I have many fantasies about what would happen if I saw him again…

Someone throws him a surprise party and they invite me… and instantly we're drawn to each other again….

Or he shows up out of the blue at my dorm, asking me to go away, us, together….

Or, my favourite… I'm shopping in New York and accidentally run into him…

I know it's not going to happen… first of all if anyone who would throw him such a party they wouldn't invite me either because they don't know me or they know what's happens… and if he would ask me to go away, I wouldn't accept – I can't leave things behind can I? And running into him in New York? Well, he'd have to be there and it's a big city... so chances are nada!

But still, I could dream couldn't I? In my dreams I'm spontaneous, occasionally wild and very passionate. I really wished I could be more like that in real life…

A couple of days later my mom calls that Luke's has no place available and that there's some hippie woman talking to Luke.

She's a crazy woman, my mom. I promise her to come home that evening.

Later that night my mom warns me about Jess being in town. My heart jumps but I play it cool… my mom thinks I'm over it, I heard her talking to Babette. I never keep much from my mom but this, she just wouldn't understand and I can't handle her critic questions. That very same evening we run into him or better, we see his car. I can't control myself and walk over to the car. Now that the moments here I feel a little awkward… a lot of memories and feelings come to live… I feel my mom next to me. I don't want to talk to her and say something about schoolwork and 'not needing this'… I know she'll think I mean a meeting with Jess, but actually I mean all these memories… but she doesn't have to know that.

As I walk home, a lot of feelings run through my tiny body. It's joy and eagerness yes… but it's also pain and anger…

I go home and intend to do some homework but I just can't focus. Half an hour later my mom comes home. She tells me she had a little chat with Luke and that the hippie woman is actually Jess's mom. He's here to pick up he's long lost car Luke hid from him… she also tells me he'll be out of town soon. I hope I get a chance of talking to him! I surely need to know why…

The next morning I plan on going to the bakery and the bookstore. My mom has 'be careful, you'll run into jess' written all over her face. Little does she know that it my intention to run into Jess.

I go off. It 's beautiful day. It's still cold but the sun is shining. First I go to the bakery. I like Luke's but they have the best croissants. When I get in, I immediately see him. He sees me and before I can do anything he says: 'I'm leaving'. Disappointment fills me… that's not exactly how I was hoping our first meeting would go.

After my breakfast I wander to the bookshop. I give the owner a list of the books I need for Yale and ask him to hunt them down for me. In the meanwhile, I go check the shelves if there's anything new. Jess is sitting there reading. He leaves again. I start to get mad. He always gets to be the one who walks away! He doesn't say a word, which I think is very rude since we used to date and we haven't spoken since he took off. I feel like a puppet that can't do anything about the stuff that has happened to her.

The rest of the afternoon is peaceful. We don't run into each other again which may be a good thing. I'm starting to wonder why exactly I wanted to meet him so badly. Nothing good ever comes from it.

My mom and I need to go to this fancy thing at the grandparents where's hardly any food. Starved we arrive back home and decide we both go food shopping. And that's when it happens: he's right in front of me for the third time that day…

I start running.

'Rory, wait! Stop!' he shouts. Like hell I'm gonna stop. I keep running. I hear him coming after me

I shout at him: 'No, you don't get to walk away!' I sounded angry. I feel good now, he deserves this anger.

'Hold on!" he yells. I hear him breathing.

'My town! I leave!' I'm entitled to some areas of power too. Besides he doesn't like this place anyway.

'We look like idiots.' We certainly must do, but I don't care. He will not get to me!

'Stop running!'

'Then Stop following!'

"Oh, come on Rory!"

'Go away, I'm leaving!' I am, I want to get out of there!

'Rory, stop!'

"Why?" Give me one good reason jess… just one!

'Because I wanna talk to you.' Well that's a good reason, we certainly can't talk when we're running around like idiots!

'About what? What do you want to talk to me about?' That you couldn't tell me the other two times to day?

"When did you learn to run like that?"

'You know, I have actually thought about this moment. A lot. What would Jess say to me I ever saw him again? I mean, he just took off, no note, no call, nothing, how could he explain that? And then a year goes by. No word, nothing, so he couldn't possibly have a good excuse for that, right? I have imagined hundreds of different scenarios with a hundred different great last parting lines, and I have to tell you that I am actually very curious to see which way this is going to go.' I'm waiting…

'Could we sit down?'

'No. You wanted to talk, so talk. What do you have to say to me?' he doesn't get a say in this, I determine the rules!

'I love you.'

And then he walks away… at first, I don't know what to say or do… I see him going to his car…

'No!'

Jess turns his head, surprised.

I start running over to him… I don't want him to leave! He loves me and I'm certain that I still love him too… the hurt, the anger, the leavings… I forgave him immediately when he said these three little words.

I reach the car, slightly out of breath. He looks surprised.

'Don't leave'

'Why not?'

'Because I don't want you to'

'Okay'

'Okay?'

'Okay'

'So what you're gonna do?'

'Don't know'

'Huh'

We stand there for a while, in an awkward silence, avoiding each other's eye.

'Well it's cold so maybe we should go inside or something?'

We headed towards Luke's which was deserted. Everyone was at the festival. For the first time in my life I miss the Firelight festival. But I don't care… this is way more important.

He makes some coffee and we sit at a table.

I break the silence: 'Why did you say that?'

I expected a sarcastic comment or that he would pretend he didn't know what I was talking about… but he said: 'because it's true. I do love you. It only took me a while to figure it out and then it took me some time to face it… and then it took me some time to want to tell you… and as you saw today, it took a lot of encouragement to actually say it to you'.

I smiled… I still loved him too… but I didn't want to him to know that already.

The end

PS So what did you think? This is like more how I would react in that situation... review? please?


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